The Absolute Bottom 50...


  1. Old Navy Kevlar Tech Vest
  2. Li'l Bully® Playground Humiliation Activity Pack
  3. Triple barrel gravity bong
  4. Mortiis retainer case
  5. Tora! Tora! Tora! Trapper Keeper
  6. "I'm With My Baby's Daddy" T-shirt
  7. Cobra® XRS 9400 Radar Detector: Driver's Education Edition
  8. Dr. Dizzy® Fun-Time Pocket Rubber-Cement Sniffy Pen
  9. "Puberty Party" Headband
  10. Gap Kids® "I Heart the Dominant Paradigm" T-shirt
  11. Peruvian band-practice powder
  12. Laura Ashley for Boys® gym locker potpourri wreath
  13. "Will Fuck 4 Popularity" tattoo
  14. Stone Cold Steve Austin Hebrew school yarmulke
  15. Cornea-B-Gone® Laser Pointer
  16. #69 pencils
  17. Monogrammed autoclave
  18. Clearasil® X-TREME cystic acne-concealing face paint
  19. "No Fat Chicks" tennis visor
  20. Mercury crayons
  21. Cheerleader Queen® brand Trim Towelettes
  22. "Mavis Beacon Teaches Autoerotic Asphyxiation"
  23. Locker-sized kegerator
  24. Abercrombie & Fitch® "Varsity Orgy" fleece
  25. Vedantic scripture pocket book
  26. Mutton-flavored paste
  27. Billy the Beggar® playground panhandling set
  28. Rosie O'Donnell Lunch Crate
  29. dELiAs® "My First Alterna-Chick Slut Boots"
  30. Richard Simmons Fanny Pack
  31. "Pop My Cherry" pencil box
  32. Hipster's Choice® vintage thrift store athletic supporters
  33. Timothy McVeigh Bunsen Burner
  34. "Dick and Jane" Cliffs Notes
  35. Angry White Girlie From an Affluent Suburb® brass knuckles
  36. "Not Until I'm Married" baby doll t-shirt
  37. Carton of Marlboro Mediums
  38. Sean Hannity Text Book Covers
  39. Construction worker paper
  40. Depends® field hockey pantaloons
  41. American Heritage Dictionary of Ethnic and Racial Slurs
  42. Replacement M-16 tactical intervention muzzle
  43. Sonny's First Shiv®
  44. Dessicated rat head pencil toppers
  45. "Slim Shady Diversity Appreciation Workbook"
  46. Jean Louis David combination lint/teen mustache brush
  47. Cafeteria finger bowls
  48. Mont Blanc® Pour Garçon Cast Platinum Deluxe Frog Dissection Lab Instrument Set
  49. National Honor Society beer coozie
  50. Jacques Cousteau swirly snorkel