chickenhead
  Friends! Is silly old procrastination keeping you from penning the cold, heartless farewell missive which will finally bring your sad, pathetic, and doomed relationship to long-overdue closure? Well delay no more! Cupid's Dear John Letter Generator takes the mind-numbing drudgery of traditionally announcing your significant other's impending abandonment, and replaces it with an easy, fun, and altogether painless interactive experience! Go ahead - give it a try RIGHT NOW!  
 
Dear ,
By the time you read this, I'll be . I'm sorry for doing this but, . I know this might comes as a bit of a to you - especially because . But I'm sorry – I just need . I think you're , but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a , and I'm . You like , you eat , and enjoy , and I don't like of these things. Your favorite movie is , and your favorite band is . Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said . Anyway, I want to date . But you know what? I still want to be . We can totally . We had some good times, or so . But please, don't like last time. That means no this time! And look - I won't even make an issue out of the you owe me, or the fact that you .

So take care of yourself - and .

,

,

PS. !

 
 
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