The emotional tampon, for those unfamiliar with the breed, is a rare and delicate strain of person
whose empathy is so boundless, it cannot be contained by the icy constructs of traditional social
dynamics. This is the cross I bear.
For me, the condition manifests itself primarily through a compulsion to pursue doomed relationships
with deeply troubled women, who quickly pour countless gallons of psycho-sexual trauma into my
super-absorbent psyche, then flush me like so much human Kotex.
Here, I publish my "Dear John" letters for all to see. I only hope they can be as effective at entertaining
you as they were at imploding my will to survive.