Hello. My name is Sister Louise, and I'm here with the unenviable task of telling you
about human sexuality. That means your genitals.
You'll find your genitals tucked away in that unpleasant smelling area where the tops of your legs come
together to meet your torso. Genitals are dirty - especially the genitals of teenagers. Don't ever touch
them. If you must, touch them with very coarse tissues. Touching genitals for more than a second or two
may cause the genitals to swell. This is very bad. Left untreated, swollen genitals will rupture,
expelling an ocean of excrement-infused blood and causing an immediate and shameful death.
Thank you for coming.